I have this one distinct memory of being about 11 years old, and it was November. We had decided to start decorating for Christmas and were bringing in boxes of decorations from the garage. My sisters and I were quietly unpacking holiday decorations; all lost in thoughts of our own. Out of nowhere, my mom breaks the quiet and starts humming the carol of the bells. It started softly, then she began to hum louder. She started skipping through the house with decorations as she changed her hums to “la las” and sang them out even louder. By this point, all of us girls were smiling and watching her. All of a sudden, she escalated her singing to loud and purposefully obnoxious noises that I can only describe as some kind of crow caw, all the while still keeping it in the carol of the bells tune, and we all burst out laughing so hard we were crying.
Isn’t it interesting how family memories that are tied to music stick out in your mind so vividly? Incorporating music into family time is like adding a little glue to those memories you create together. Here are ten ways that music increases your family’s bonds:
1. Music gives your family a soundtrack.
After we wiped the tears from our eyes, we went on to remember the crow-caw version of carol of the bells Every. Single. Year. I’m an adult now and feel absolutely no shame in crowing out the tune with my family as we run around throwing up decorations every Christmas. Certain songs can become a soundtrack for your family unit if you associate them with a special moment, a funny memory, or even an important life event.
2. Music encourages expression through movement.
Isn’t it the best thing in the world to watch babies and children dance? It’s so uninhibited and natural. As we grow older, we lose that sense of no fears or cares of what others are thinking of us. Music helps kids be comfortable in their bodies as they grow and provides a platform for continued expression through movement and dance. Have you ever tried a family dance party? Watching parents dance too sets a great example for kids. Plus, it’s fun!
3. Music helps kids learn about instruments and sounds.
Listening to music as a family helps cultivate kid’s interest in sounds. Listening to a variety of music will introduce them to instruments they’ve never heard that you can talk about as a family. Learning instruments from a young age can help solidify an interest in learning to play one as they grow older.
4. Music ties your kids to an art form
The first song I learned how to play on guitar was one I heard my mom play. She would play the guitar and I would sit in front of her and watch and listen. The family bonds created by listening to songs together can provide support for your child as they start to explore learning music themselves as an art. Singing songs and listening to music with kids from a young age can help associate feelings of love and comfort with music. You can continue on to support them taking music lessons or teach them an instrument where they’ll learn how to overcome fears and boost their confidence; all while remembering their love of music that started at home with their family.
5. Music helps families express emotions
Kids understand more than we sometimes think from a young age. Music lyrics express a huge variety of emotions. Work with kids to find songs that express “happy” “sad” or “love” and listen to them together. As they grow older, try using music to express emotions and events, like finding a memorial song for a relative who has died, or a memory song for a family trip you have taken. Songs can also be great ways to remind each other how much we care, express an apology, or signal the start of an event or scheduled family time.
6. Music helps teach children how to talk and read.
Music is a great learning tool if you have children who are learning how to talk and read. Lyrics teach kids different words and the stories that are connected to the lyrics serve as a great comprehension lesson as well. Encourage your kids to make up their own songs. You could work on rhyming words, spelling, names, colors. The possibilities are endless.
7. Music enhances social skills and moods
By listening to music, specific areas of our brain are stimulated that help us develop the skill of empathy, that is, being able to identify how someone else might be feeling and how we should react. This is a very useful skill for children and adults. Along with empathy, but music builds a natural sense of belonging. The family unit is usually the first place a child learns some of those social experiences like loyalty, a sense of safety, and how to develop relationships to others. Music also boosts our oxytocin and dopamine, which boosts our mood as a result.
8. Music helps you learn about each other
The act of sharing the music you listened to as a child, teen, or young adult can be a really great bonding activity for your family. In fact, taking the time to learn everyone’s current favorite song is a great family bonding ritual. Favorite music, especially for teens, is strongly linked to their sense of identity. By taking time to learn about the music they enjoy we can strengthen our bonds as well.
9. Music provides exercise
Let’s revisit that family dance party idea. Dancing burns energy. Kids with less energy go to bed on time. Kids that go to bed on time make for happy parents. Happy parents go to bed on time. Everybody goes to bed on time, and everybody wins.
10. Music demonstrates the importance of having a hobby
Sharing music or playing music with and for your kids as part of family time can demonstrate the importance of having a hobby and an interest that requires practice and growth. This is a great example to set for children of any age. While they might not want to play an instrument themselves, they can observe some valuable lessons about effort, perseverance, and setting priorities from you along the way.
The only thing left to do is start planning your next family dance party, and enjoy your good night’s sleep!
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